Signs You’re Burnt Out (Not Just Tired): A Guide for Women Who Do It All
Signs You’re Burnt Out (Not Just Tired): A Guide for Women Who Do It All
You’re not just tired.
You’re not lazy.
And no, you don’t just need better time management.
If you’re a first-gen, high-achieving woman of color who’s used to holding it all together, it can be hard to recognize burnout when it hits. You’ve been praised for your strength, your hustle, your ability to show up for everyone—even when you’re running on empty. So when your body finally says, “enough,” it might feel like you’re failing.
Let me tell you something: you’re not failing.
You’re burnt out—and that’s a very real, very valid experience.
What Burnout Actually Looks Like
Here are some signs of burnout that go beyond just feeling tired:
You wake up exhausted, even after a full night’s sleep
You’ve lost motivation, even for things you used to love
You feel numb or disconnected from yourself and others
Small tasks feel overwhelming or impossible
You snap at people you care about
Your body feels heavy—physically and emotionally
You’ve been getting sick more often or feel random aches/pains
You secretly fantasize about quitting everything and disappearing for a while
If any of this resonates, you're not broken.
Burnout is your nervous system waving a red flag saying:
I can’t keep running on survival mode forever.
Why Burnout Hits First-Gen Mujeres So Hard
Many of us were raised to work twice as hard, stay grateful, and never complain. We were taught to survive—not rest. We became the cycle-breakers, the helpers, the high-achievers—and somewhere along the way, we started tying our worth to our output.
And let’s be real: the systems we exist in—corporate, nonprofit, academia, even entrepreneurship—weren’t built for us. They reward overworking and perfectionism, but ignore emotional labor, cultural nuance, and lived experience.
Especially in helping professions, burnout is often blamed on you. On your boundaries. Your habits. But what about when the system itself is the problem?
We're told to eat healthy, journal, sleep eight hours, work full time, stay hydrated, exercise, cook, clean, socialize, and still thrive.
Let’s get real—that’s not sustainable.
My Burnout Story
When I experienced burnout, it wasn’t just mental—it showed up in my body:
Night sweats. Anxiety. Depression that stopped me in my tracks.
It took therapy, leaving a toxic job, and reimagining my entire lifestyle to begin healing. That process is what led me here—creating something of my own, on my terms, where I could finally reclaim my time, my energy, and my joy.
The Missing Piece: Completing the Stress Cycle
In their book Burnout, Emily and Amelia Nagoski explain that burnout isn’t just about having too many stressors—it’s about not completing the stress cycle.
Your body doesn’t know the difference between a bear chasing you and a never-ending inbox. It feels stressed, either way. If that energy isn’t released, it stays stuck—and that’s when burnout sets in.
To heal, we have to help our bodies release that tension.
Ways to Complete the Stress Cycle:
Movement. A 20-minute walk can signal to your body: you’re safe now.
Crying. Yep, full release. Let it happen.
Laughter. Deep belly laughs shift the nervous system.
Creative expression. Dance, art, journaling—get out of your head and into flow.
Physical affection. Safe touch from a partner, pet, or even self-soothing can regulate the system.
So What Now?
Here’s what I want you to remember:
You don’t have to earn rest.
You don’t have to wait until you’re falling apart.
You are allowed to slow down.
You are allowed to heal.
And if the thought of change feels overwhelming—start small:
One breath.
One “no.”
One slow walk.
One journal entry.
One honest check-in with yourself.
Because you are worth it.
Final Thoughts
Burnout doesn’t mean you’re weak.
It means you’ve been strong for too long without support.
You deserve to thrive, not just survive.
And if you’re ready to start that healing process—I see you. I’ve been there. Let’s talk.
Resources to Support You Through Burnout
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily & Amelia Nagoski
Buy it on Bookshop or Amazon
“Burnout and How to Complete the Stress Cycle” – Brené Brown Podcast
Listen to the episode
